So I got the bloody nose taken care of. I went to the ENT on Monday afternoon and he removed the packing and indicated no further care was need. Yea! I hope I never have to get my nose packed again. It is not a pleasant experience. With the nose thing behind me, a new issue has appeared: I have spots on my shoulders and neck.
The first spot was noticed Sunday night. I figured it was just a bug bite. On Tuesday morning, I woke up with 5 additional spots on my other shoulder and my neck. I'm not sure if they are spots or welts or what they are but they are red and raised. I went to my PCP yesterday and she didn't know what they were either but after consulting with my oncologist, it was decided I need to see a dermatologist and hold off on chemo today. Sigh. So tomorrow I am off to the dermatologist who will hopefully solve the mystery of the spots.
I am disappointed I am not finishing chemo today but there was a good chance my counts weren't good enough to get chemo anyway. I'm trying to look at the bright side of things. I'm going to a concert tonight and I'll be able to feel good. Tomorrow I'm going to the wine festival. Even though I can't drink a lot, it will be fun to sip a few good wines. Perhaps a BBQ is in order this weekend. I'm trying to stay focused on enjoying time with my friends, something I really haven't felt up to in a while.
If all goes well with the dermatologist tomorrow, she will OK me to continue with chemo. I'll get my final treatment on Monday and disconnected on Wednesday. It will so nice to finally be done. It just seems like it's taking forever to just finish up!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Bloody Nose Woes
Growing up, my brother was the one with the bloody noses. I never had a bloody nose. That was until yesterday. Being on chemo, it is common to have some blood in your nasal discharge. It's sort of a strange thing. You lose your nasal hair and have drainage all the time, sometimes a little blood tinged. Your eyes tear a lot as well so you basically look like a toddler who just had a big cry. But I have managed to deal with these side effects until yesterday. After blowing my nose in the morning when I woke up, I noticed that my nose was continuing to ooze blood and wasn't really stopping. It wasn't pouring out but it required constant attention.
So, before I went out the door to go to work, I called my oncologist office and of course they told me to go to the ER. I knew they were going to say that and part of me wishes I never called. So, I drove to the ER with a tissue up my nose. By the time I got to the ER, the oozing had calmed down a bit but I proceeded to get care. I had my labs drawn and it was no surprise that my platelets were low (26). The doctor attempted to cauterize my nose but that was unsuccessful (and painful!). So they decided to pack my nose. To say the least, it is not a pleasant experience and it's not pleasant to have my nose packed for the next couple of days.
Luckily I have been able to work from home today so no one had to see this packing hanging out of my nose. When I go out this weekend, I will be sure to cover it better than it is now so I don't have snot dripping out of my nose in public. That would be a sight to see! On Monday afternoon I got to the ENT to have the packing removed and hopefully that will be the end of this.
With my platelets being so low, my last chemo will probably be delayed a week. They told me to go and have my labs done and see what happens. I don't have high hopes that I will finish on May 2 but instead May 9. I can see the finish line but I just can't get to it. Tripped up right before getting there. People say almost done but there is still a lot to get through. I just keep plugging along and one day, it will all be done. Oh, I can't wait for that day!
So, before I went out the door to go to work, I called my oncologist office and of course they told me to go to the ER. I knew they were going to say that and part of me wishes I never called. So, I drove to the ER with a tissue up my nose. By the time I got to the ER, the oozing had calmed down a bit but I proceeded to get care. I had my labs drawn and it was no surprise that my platelets were low (26). The doctor attempted to cauterize my nose but that was unsuccessful (and painful!). So they decided to pack my nose. To say the least, it is not a pleasant experience and it's not pleasant to have my nose packed for the next couple of days.
Luckily I have been able to work from home today so no one had to see this packing hanging out of my nose. When I go out this weekend, I will be sure to cover it better than it is now so I don't have snot dripping out of my nose in public. That would be a sight to see! On Monday afternoon I got to the ENT to have the packing removed and hopefully that will be the end of this.
With my platelets being so low, my last chemo will probably be delayed a week. They told me to go and have my labs done and see what happens. I don't have high hopes that I will finish on May 2 but instead May 9. I can see the finish line but I just can't get to it. Tripped up right before getting there. People say almost done but there is still a lot to get through. I just keep plugging along and one day, it will all be done. Oh, I can't wait for that day!
Monday, April 9, 2012
My New Best Friend
Hello blog followers. I apologize for not updating the blog lately but my new best friend, my couch, has gotten in the way. Chemo is definitely taking it's toll on me and I have become a couch potato. Once I am home from work, I put on my comfy PJ's, sit on the couch with my remote and chill. I think perhaps, my body is permanently indented in the couch. An important thing to note however, is my couch is not my best friend forever. In fact, I am thinking once this journey is over, a new couch is in order. I think I have spent more time on my couch in the last 3-4 weeks than I have the entire time I have owned it. But I know once the chemo has ended (25 days but who is counting!) that I will need some recovery time. But after that, who will need a couch?!?! I will hopefully be riding my bike and golfing and generally, not at home to be sitting on my couch.
Although it has been a comfort these last couple weeks and will continue to be so for another couple weeks, couch and Carol just don't fit well in the same sentence. At first it was hard to get comfortable on my couch. I was almost like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory trying to find a place to sit at Penny's. None were comfortable at all. But I have developed a love hate relationship with my couch. The couch is beloved right now but I think it knows that in a short time, it will be once again forgotten and never used.
On a serious note, I do have 25 more days until chemo is over. I cannot wait as the chemo has taken every ounce of energy I have. I continue to work and I think that's good for me. I think it's good to have to get up and get dressed and get out the door every morning, even if it means taking short breaks in the process. At work I get engrossed in my projects and forget about chemo, and being tired, and even my dear friend couch. My boss has been amazing understanding if I need to work from home, not that I have done that too much. I'm tired of being tired but it's part of the journey and knowing the end is nearing makes it tolerable. I have already started to plan when I can start golfing again as well as going on trips with Venture Outdoors. I envision that last day of chemo, emailing the surgeon to schedule my surgery. The finish line is near and even when I feel I can't go anymore, time just keeps passing by whether I am ready or not. I know I can hang in there just a couple more weeks and then look forward to better times.
Although it has been a comfort these last couple weeks and will continue to be so for another couple weeks, couch and Carol just don't fit well in the same sentence. At first it was hard to get comfortable on my couch. I was almost like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory trying to find a place to sit at Penny's. None were comfortable at all. But I have developed a love hate relationship with my couch. The couch is beloved right now but I think it knows that in a short time, it will be once again forgotten and never used.
On a serious note, I do have 25 more days until chemo is over. I cannot wait as the chemo has taken every ounce of energy I have. I continue to work and I think that's good for me. I think it's good to have to get up and get dressed and get out the door every morning, even if it means taking short breaks in the process. At work I get engrossed in my projects and forget about chemo, and being tired, and even my dear friend couch. My boss has been amazing understanding if I need to work from home, not that I have done that too much. I'm tired of being tired but it's part of the journey and knowing the end is nearing makes it tolerable. I have already started to plan when I can start golfing again as well as going on trips with Venture Outdoors. I envision that last day of chemo, emailing the surgeon to schedule my surgery. The finish line is near and even when I feel I can't go anymore, time just keeps passing by whether I am ready or not. I know I can hang in there just a couple more weeks and then look forward to better times.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Spring has Sprung
Spring is here for sure! It has been in the 70's all this week in Pittsburgh and this morning, the heat didn't even come on. I know, I know. There could still be a big snow storm and it has snowed in April. I just choose to believe that is not going to happen. Why be negative when all this fantastic weather is occurring? Just enjoy it while it lasts! I got my toes painted this week so I'm ready for sandals!
Yesterday I was able to go for a walk on my favorite trail in the warm weather. The trail actually felt crowded. There were lots of people preparing for the marathon as well as cyclists and dog walkers. You could just feel everyone's energy. I actually walked downtown this time around. I went to see a show and decided to walk to the show and then cab it home. It was even nice to walk over the Roberto Clemente bridge. There wasn't even a breeze. The only thing missing was kayakers but I know they will be out soon enough.
I have 50 more days left of chemo. I can not wait to be done. I'm tired of my body being exposed to the awful chemicals and what it is doing to my body. I am often tired and my appetite changes hour to hour. When I got to the theater last night, I had to walk up 2 flights of stairs and I was really winded by the time I got to my seat. Last year at this time I could have climbed the 42 flights at the Cathedral of Learning with no issues at all.
Knowing how I feel and I am relatively healthy, I could not imagine going through chemo when being really ill. It certainly takes its toll on the body. I know it will take a while for me to get my strength back and be back to my usually healthy busy self. I understand that and I am giving myself the permission to take my time to get back in shape. That being said, I am very excited that I booked a bicycle tour of the southern outer banks for October. That's plenty of time to get my riding legs back and a perfect time to visit that part of the country.
So the count down is on. Tomorrow will just be 7 weeks to go. Next week I will have my 5th treatment out of 8. Closer and closer to the end of chemo. I just can't wait. I know you aren't supposed to wish your life away but I think it's OK if I wish these 50 days away so I can move on to healing and getting my strength back.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Half Way There
It's nice to know that I am half way through chemo. I can almost taste the finish line now. And the reversal of the ileostomy doesn't feel like a big deal at all. I just want to be done with chemo. 8 weeks from tomorrow, I will be. Everyone knows how Pittsburghers love fireworks. Well, there will be fireworks on May 5. I couldn't figure out why there would be fireworks so early in the season, but I'll take it as a personal celebration for being done with chemo.
The chemo is tough. I'm lucky that I don't have the worst side effects but still, I can feel the war being waged inside my body. It wipes me out and brings me down for a couple of days and then I can bounce back. Knowing I only have 4 more times to go through this cycle makes it feel like I can get through it. It's all down hill from now on.
I am grateful for our early spring in Pittsburgh. It makes getting outside easier and the side effects less painful. Of course we are all wondering if we are going to get one last blast of winter. Let's just hope if we do, it will be a non-chemo week!
The chemo is tough. I'm lucky that I don't have the worst side effects but still, I can feel the war being waged inside my body. It wipes me out and brings me down for a couple of days and then I can bounce back. Knowing I only have 4 more times to go through this cycle makes it feel like I can get through it. It's all down hill from now on.
I am grateful for our early spring in Pittsburgh. It makes getting outside easier and the side effects less painful. Of course we are all wondering if we are going to get one last blast of winter. Let's just hope if we do, it will be a non-chemo week!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
My City, My Trail
Who knew it could be above 50 and sunny in Pittsburgh in February? I certainly didn't believe it until this past Monday. I have been worried about my physical fitness the last couple of weeks. I went from exercising every day to a couch potato in a very short time. Being physically fit is very important to me and having the chemo hold me back has been bothering me a bit. I love to be outside but when I breathe the cold air, it is just so painful. It's almost gotten to where I'm afraid to go outside and take that first breath never knowing if the side effect has passed or not.
Well, Monday it was 57 degrees and sunny in Pittsburgh. I was not going to miss this opportunity. I knew with the air that warm that I would be able to get outside. I have a beautiful trail right outside my building that runs along the river. I have walked the trail and ridden my bike on it so many times, I know every square inch and when there are new plantings or if the trail has been modified in some way. I decided on this day, I wouldn't push myself and just walk to PNC Park and back. I dressed warmly and put these super warm mittens on and wore 2 pairs of socks. I started off slowly and got passed by a much older woman but I was not to be deterred from my walk.
It was so great to be outside and walking on the trail. I was just smiling from ear to ear. As I approached PNC Park, downtown Pittsburgh came into view. Boy have I missed my city. I really enjoy living in Pittsburgh and being so close to downtown. Seeing it again from the trail helped me feel not so distant from all the things I enjoy about Pittsburgh. I was hoping the outfield of PNC Park was open to walk through but no luck. I also found that the trail in front of PNC Park was blocked for construction. I was still feeling pretty good and decided to walk down to see Mr. Rogers and check on my seats at Heinz Field. I got down to the Mr. Rogers statue and took a seat right next to him to get a good view of the city. Then, after a little rest, walked by Heinz Field. I can't wait for Pitt Football to start up again. I didn't miss a game last fall even though I was toting around a pump of 5FU for most of the games.
Finally, I circled back and made my way back to my apartment. The sun was shining and it was a bit breezy but it was so nice to be outside doing my usual thing. Even the Canadian geese and their gross poop didn't bother me on Monday. I know soon enough it will be kayaking season (it opens my last day of chemo and I'm going on a trip prior to my infusion) and I'll be riding my bike up and down the trail again. And then before you know it, it will be time to make the walk for all the Pitt games with some of my really good friends. I love that trail and I am so happy I live right on it. And mostly, I was happy to find out that I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was!
Well, Monday it was 57 degrees and sunny in Pittsburgh. I was not going to miss this opportunity. I knew with the air that warm that I would be able to get outside. I have a beautiful trail right outside my building that runs along the river. I have walked the trail and ridden my bike on it so many times, I know every square inch and when there are new plantings or if the trail has been modified in some way. I decided on this day, I wouldn't push myself and just walk to PNC Park and back. I dressed warmly and put these super warm mittens on and wore 2 pairs of socks. I started off slowly and got passed by a much older woman but I was not to be deterred from my walk.
It was so great to be outside and walking on the trail. I was just smiling from ear to ear. As I approached PNC Park, downtown Pittsburgh came into view. Boy have I missed my city. I really enjoy living in Pittsburgh and being so close to downtown. Seeing it again from the trail helped me feel not so distant from all the things I enjoy about Pittsburgh. I was hoping the outfield of PNC Park was open to walk through but no luck. I also found that the trail in front of PNC Park was blocked for construction. I was still feeling pretty good and decided to walk down to see Mr. Rogers and check on my seats at Heinz Field. I got down to the Mr. Rogers statue and took a seat right next to him to get a good view of the city. Then, after a little rest, walked by Heinz Field. I can't wait for Pitt Football to start up again. I didn't miss a game last fall even though I was toting around a pump of 5FU for most of the games.
Finally, I circled back and made my way back to my apartment. The sun was shining and it was a bit breezy but it was so nice to be outside doing my usual thing. Even the Canadian geese and their gross poop didn't bother me on Monday. I know soon enough it will be kayaking season (it opens my last day of chemo and I'm going on a trip prior to my infusion) and I'll be riding my bike up and down the trail again. And then before you know it, it will be time to make the walk for all the Pitt games with some of my really good friends. I love that trail and I am so happy I live right on it. And mostly, I was happy to find out that I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Fat Tuesday and Lent
It has been a long standing tradition in my family to have ice cream on Fat Tuesday. This wasn't just an ordinary bowl of ice cream, but the deluxe sundae, preferably from Friendly's. Unfortunately, ice cream is something I can't eat right now but that was not going to hinder me from indulging on Fat Tuesday! Instead, I had chocolaty, marshmallowy, melty goodness! This 5 minute cake in a mug was the next best thing to ice cream. It was so rich and yummy I had to share my dessert! Delicious!
I have been debating for some time about Lent and if I should give up something. I take Lent quite serious and have given up things like Jack Daniels, soda, Starbucks Hot Chocolate and M&M's. With everything going on this year, I think God will let me off the hook. After all, when my brother got married, the priest said a prayer and magically we were allowed to eat meat on a Friday during Lent!
I think the thing that appeals to me most about Lent is the count down. I will say advent is a little better with counting down. How can it be bad to count the days to Christmas with a chocolate treat to go along with it everyday! But seriously, I have been doing a lot of countdowns lately. I have a great friend that sends me a daily e-mail counting down to the end of this journey. I have another good friend that reminded me that I'm not just 37% through chemo, but 37.5%! And it just happens that the Pittsburgh marathon is 4 days after my last treatment. So, as I increasingly hear news and the countdown to the marathon, I know come that day, I will be done with chemo.
So, Lent is just another opportunity to do some counting. Do I really need another countdown? Why not? There are no rules about how to get through chemo and if counting is helping, why not? I won't be giving up anything for Lent but I will be helping my friends who are giving up things to countdown. And for me, I'll be 75% through chemo on Easter Sunday! I always thought Mr. Snuffleupagus was my favorite Sesame Street character but perhaps it was The Count!
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