Quiet Before the Storm

After one of the most shocking and emotional weeks of my life, I was happy for a quiet low key weekend.  I know, I know. When did I start liking low key weekends?  I don't and don't plan on seeing too many of them anytime soon!  Still, I was tired from the week of news and appointments and recovering from surgery.  I hate to admit it but it was nice not to really have any plans.

I have learned this week how amazing my friends are.  It's overwhelming the support and love and caring that I have received this week.  I am someone pretty private and I take care of myself.  Knowing that I am not going through this process myself is so comforting and gives me the support to keeping pushing through.  Each and everyone of my friends have their own unique quality and strength and I know just who to turn to when I need something particular.  I am so very blessed to have so many wonderful people to take this journey with me.  Could I do it alone?  Of course.  No doubt.  But knowing I don't have to and I won't, makes this journey easier and hopefully with a few laughs along the way.

I have it pretty easy this week.  No more appointments or procedures until Friday.  I'm hoping to have a pretty normal week of getting up early and swimming (or kayaking), working full days, and doing something every evening.  That's more like me!  I'm not sure when my treatments will start (8/15 or 8/22) but when they do, I'm sure I will be wishing to have a week like this one when it's just my typical busy week!

Meeting the Oncologist

Today I met the oncologist.  One of many who will be part of my treatment team.  I felt like the experience was almost like on-line dating.  I had checked out his professional profile and picture prior to meeting him.  He was reviewing all of my records and my medical history.  I went to the appointment with some of the same apprehension of meeting a date for the first time.  The entire appointment I was sizing him up and thinking if I wanted to see him again.  I'm sure he was trying to figure out what kind of patient I would be as well.  In the end, I really liked him.  He was smart, and kind, and up front with the treatment choices and why decisions were made the way they were.

The appointment today made everything really real.  Before meeting the oncologist, there was a theory about what the future held.  Now there are prescriptions and treatment plans and appointments to be made.  Although I have another couple of weeks before all of my treatments begin, I am beginning to face what the future will bring and how my life may be modified due to the treatments.  A continuous infusion means no swimming for a while.  Starting my day with radiation treatments brings a whole new meaning to being a morning person.  I really do have cancer and I do have an incredible journey ahead of me.  At least it's Friday!

Getting Organized

One of my best life skills is organization and scheduling, though scheduling doctor's appointments around work schedules and other appointments is a bit challenging.  Not only do I need to follow up with the surgeon, but also a radiation oncologist and a medical oncologist.  They are all in the same office building and you would think I could just go once and get all 3 done.  Alas, no such luck!  But all the appointments are scheduled and I am well on my way to getting everything coordinated.


As much as I love Google calendar and everything electronic, I decided to go old school for all my appointments and scheduling and planning for this journey.  I'm actually going to get a paper calendar.  I know it's crazy but there is something about crossing off days and being able to count down on paper.  This evening I plan to go out and find me the cutest little calendar I can find and begin the tracking and the counting.  Sure, there are going to be a lot more struggles ahead than just planning but for me, having everything planned seems to make everything else so much more manageable.

The Start

I had no intention of setting off on this incredible journey. None at all. I was more on a journey to improve my health. My stomach had been bothering me for some time and I had the routine tests completed and all of them were negative. At first I thought it was just me and I was about to give up on feeling better. But as my symptoms got worse and were interrupting my life, I decided it was time for a colonoscopy. No one wants a colonoscopy or to go through the prep but for me, it was no worse than what I was already going through and if it could bring me resolution to my condition, it was worth it.

So, on July 19, I had a colonoscopy at age 37. I fully planned for the doctor to tell me they didn't see anything during the colonoscopy. Instead, a rectal mass was found. Rectal mass? How is this possible? I couldn't believe the news. I was too young and too healthy to have a mass. The next couple of days were crazy with blood work and CT scans and a doctor's appointment with a colon-rectal surgeon. After seeing the surgeon, things seemed much calmer. It was 50/50 chance it would be cancer. The mass would be removed and further pathology would be completed to obtain a final diagnosis.

On July 26, I had surgery to remove the mass. I was fully prepared for the mass to not be cancer and for this to be the end of the journey. I was shocked to find out I had cancer. Shocked. I never thought it was possible. It just couldn't be. Once the news settled, there was a discussion on the treatment plan. The treatment takes about 9 months. 6 weeks of chemo and radiation, resting for 10 weeks and then surgery to remove the cancerous area. Then more chemo and more surgery 12 weeks after the first surgery. It was almost too much to absorb. In fact, I barely remember anything the surgeon told me beyond I have cancer.

So now I am on an incredible journey. One that I had never intended to take off on, but one I will embrace and attack in the same manner I do anything else in life. I'll take it one day at a time and do my best to get through it. I am sure there will be ups and downs and everything in between. This blog is about my incredible journey.